One of the of the biggest secrets we try to keep is a sense of independence and dignity. The notion or feeling that you are significant in some distinct way, that you are cherished by a unique person, that somebody is giving you distinctive attention, these are some of the ego’s very nuanced secrets. We are trying to hide our Sacred Self and are engaging in all these varied games, which appear to be very disturbing. It is rather depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of distinctive love, attention and recognition to prop ourselves up.
We labor so hard at becoming “superior people”, at acquiring greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be appreciated more and be more well-known. The entire self-help industry is focused on enhancing the self so you can become a better you. That is another gimmick we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep spinning our wheels trying to become better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very relaxing when you start to realize that you do not have to become any better than you already are. You were formed perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find tranquility but through self-acceptance.
As I engaged with A Course in Miracles, I could see that there was a terror of divine love in my mind. I understood this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being revealed and being viewed as a puff of nothingness. That is the dread of intimacy. We speak about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes portrayed as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a dread of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the fear of getting swept away by a glorious love, a love so intense that none of us can even imagine something as magnificent and mighty!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something inappropriate, whether you’ve masturbated, swiped something, malhandled somebody, or there is something in your mind that you have deemed as so horrible that you don’t even want to meet it, you just want to dismiss about it and push it out of awareness.
Below all those recollections and ideas, is the belief that we are divided. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unattainable belief, but we assume that it is true; We have deemed it as horrific and have pushed it out of notice. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really offer yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally confront this hidden belief in division!
Please, share any ideas and observations with me below, I’d adore to hear about your journey!
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